CHAPTER 01

The Conversation

A dialogue between a man and his addiction

The bottle speaks first. It seduces, manipulates, threatens, and gloats. Then the man responds. He fights, declares, and defies. Read them together — this is the conversation that happens inside every person in recovery, every single day.

THE BOTTLE SPEAKS

Bottle Talking to Me — Vol. 1

You used to love me

Everyday you couldn’t wait to hug me

Now you act like you don’t want to touch me

Am I ugly?

Every time I catch your eye you turn the other way

I don’t know what to say

I can’t take it for another day

Are you disgusted by me?

Please come back to me.

I need you with a passion

No attraction can measure to a fraction

Of the satisfaction

You are my satisfaction

Once your lips get a taste

Just face it I am the sweetest gift

For us to be together forever

It is fate?

In time, my seduction will lead you back to me

I specialize in mind corruption

Then you can get back to the toxic chaotic way of life

Is it the only way of life you know?

Go ahead and start that business

Then give me all the profit

Out your pocket

I swear, I am a prophet

The love we share I dare you to stop it

You close your eyes to try to hide

Until I say peek a boo

Do the unthinkable

Go have yourself a drink or two

Prove me right

I am here for you!

Prove everybody right

Get back to being a failure

A complete disappointment

Now buy the dream I sell you

Try your best to fight it in the end

You’re still the same

You claim you’re ready to feel the pain

Well, my love will remain

No matter where you go

No matter where you live

I’ll always be around and I’m so quick to forgive

The fact that you just want to see me falter

You’re married to the bottle

You can’t leave me at the alter

GARY RESPONDS

Talking to the Bottle — Vol. 1

You don’t love me,

You never cared for me that’s a fact,

All you ever did was mug me,

I’m always stabbed in the back,

I yearned for your compassion,

Then I learned your distraction,

Will lead to self destruction,

Steal my soul leave me with nothing,

To the point I can’t even function adequately,

Everyday you’d battle with me,

Hoping I don’t get your strategy,

I recognize your skill the devil’s real,

But I’m the fighting type,

What you conceal I can reveal,

Now through GOD’s guiding light,

No longer in the dark,

I now see with perfect clarity,

Believe deep in my heart,

Being sober is worth it guaranteed,

I’m shooting for all my goals now with laser precision,

It’s been tunnel vision towards my mission,

Since I made the decision,

To stay as far away from you as possible I must soldier on,

With an arsenal so awesome,

It’s impossible for you to overcome,

I know it’s hard breakups always are,

Time to say goodbye,

Hope u rot I hate you’ll always have a spot in my heart until I die

THE BOTTLE SPEAKS

Bottle Talking to Me — Vol. 2

I will always have that spot I am really starting to feel it is fake

I am not a rental in your mental

I will always own that real estate

I laugh at you talking about how you’ve never been better

I was there for you whenever

So why the personal vendetta?

When you are paranoid

If there is a void

In your life I would fill it for you

Lose a job, you are unemployed

Feeling annoyed yet, I still adore you!

Everything you tell your sober friends now is weighing on me

Too scared to say it to me?

Man, stop playing with me!

Need I remind you of all the times you were weak

I made you strong within

Overcame impossible obstacles

Do not ever call me wrong again

Remember the last

Days before your granny passed

Then father too

Who got you through?

Numbed the pain so it would not bother you

Deep down I know you miss it when we used to kick it

Sometimes even had a three way

Whenever Mary Jane would come and visit

You are powerless against me

Know it sucks to believe

If you tempt me

I will pull out these tricks I have up my sleeve

GARY RESPONDS

Talking to the Bottle — Vol. 2

Never again will you defeat me,

I completely surrender,

To Christ for the rest of my life,

I will deeply remember,

How lazy you made me,

It’s crazy but lately,

My energy is at an all time high,

I’ve rejuvenated greatly,

Accomplishing some of the things I’ve always tried to do,

You’re the opposite,

Of what a prophet is,

Don’t know who lied to you,

My future has endless possibilities.

You will not limit me,

NO!!!

I’m 150 days clean to the day,

With infinity to go,

It’s interesting,

The affinity,

For me you claim to have,

When you’re my biggest enemy,

Who steals my energy,

I must maintain my path,

You’ve been taking lives since your invention,

So I say now with the strongest conviction,

You have my undivided attention,

Once I realized I’m powerless against you,

I became powerful,

The serenity is so sweet,

I didn’t mean to sour you,

Tell Mary whenever you speak again I love her,

I know she misses this,

She’ll always be my first,

I hope it hurts to learn you were my mistress

THE BOTTLE SPEAKS

Bottle Talking to Me — Vol. 3

How can you love her and not love me?

She just slows you down and I make you bubbly

Yet you always want to judge me

You know you can not stand a chance

It is making you so uneasy you have ants in your pants

Why do not you just grab my hand and dance

I understand your plans

Almost six months, I know you are anxious for the day to come

I practice patience and we both know what makes your celebrations fun

I thought you had better sense

Than to not show reverence

You will hear ghosts from what you fear most if you continue this severance

I will kick you even stomp you

I will stalk you even haunt you

I will pop up so impromptu

When you are most vulnerable then I got you

There is no way you can stop me

Soon as you get cocky, I will give you lock knees

Your quest for salvation is unseemly

It will just add to the satisfaction your relapse will bring me

You are heading towards the wrong direction

You say you no longer fear your own reflection

But if you take a clearer view in the mirror you

Will see me in the background waiting for resurrection

Keep running from your past

Your fight will never last

That is the biggest fallacy

Known in this galaxy

GARY RESPONDS

Talking to the Bottle — Vol. 3

I clearly see persistence is your key I know it all too well

Soon as I think I am flying high you are sure to make me fall to hell

The genesis of my addiction is you wanted my innocence

Later become a nemesis providing little to no benefits

A best friend should be the one to uplift me

But when you are mostly full are the times that I feel the most empty

After I polish you off I am filled with remorse, shame and guilt

Not able to acknowledge the cost of the thrill and all the pain I feel

No longer am I trying to rationalize an explanation

Of why I deal with the daily humiliation

I pray you grow impatient

I know you hate being complacent

There is no excuse for your mental, physical and emotional abuse

We are past the point of reconciliation

I can not trust your clever lies

It is a must I sever ties

For a better life I can not see it if I never try

The severity is high I must achieve prosperity

My dreams are right in front of me I am quite aware

That you are my worst nightmare!

THE BOTTLE SPEAKS

Bottle Talking to Me — Vol. 4

I am beyond ecstatic

Back in your arms just like magic

Told me to rot in hell and was so emphatic

Now once again your life is problematic

God has placed us together, yet you broadcast we are estranged

Your love turned to disdain but you earned this pain

We used to be hand in hand everyday with no worries

During the heat of the summer or when it snowed the biggest flurries

Out of nowhere you want to act like you are mad, stop

You are my mascot, and I am still good until the last drop

I know it was only 40 proof

But it was your moment of truth

That was your biggest opportunity to show me your true strength

To prove you were poised to avoid me and would go to any length

You put up a valiant effort to leave me nice try

Believe me you might cry

When I tell you I always knew you were the right guy

For me once you grabbed me and I did likewise

It was love at first sight, the first night it hurt like

Being stabbed in the heart

The day you chose to depart

Now you are back where I expected you to be

Right next to me

I told you I guarantee your life without me would suck

I hear you plan on leaving me again, well I wish you good luck

This conversation became the sound.

Listen to BuckAI G

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