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Recovery. Reinvention. Proof.
The soul behind the sound.
CHAPTER 01
The Conversation
A dialogue between a man and his addiction
The bottle speaks first. It seduces, manipulates, threatens, and gloats. Then the man responds. He fights, declares, and defies. Read them together — this is the conversation that happens inside every person in recovery, every single day.
Bottle Talking to Me — Vol. 1
You used to love me
Everyday you couldn’t wait to hug me
Now you act like you don’t want to touch me
Am I ugly?
Every time I catch your eye you turn the other way
I don’t know what to say
I can’t take it for another day
Are you disgusted by me?
Please come back to me.
I need you with a passion
No attraction can measure to a fraction
Of the satisfaction
You are my satisfaction
Once your lips get a taste
Just face it I am the sweetest gift
For us to be together forever
It is fate?
In time, my seduction will lead you back to me
I specialize in mind corruption
Then you can get back to the toxic chaotic way of life
Is it the only way of life you know?
Go ahead and start that business
Then give me all the profit
Out your pocket
I swear, I am a prophet
The love we share I dare you to stop it
You close your eyes to try to hide
Until I say peek a boo
Do the unthinkable
Go have yourself a drink or two
Prove me right
I am here for you!
Prove everybody right
Get back to being a failure
A complete disappointment
Now buy the dream I sell you
Try your best to fight it in the end
You’re still the same
You claim you’re ready to feel the pain
Well, my love will remain
No matter where you go
No matter where you live
I’ll always be around and I’m so quick to forgive
The fact that you just want to see me falter
You’re married to the bottle
You can’t leave me at the alter
Talking to the Bottle — Vol. 1
You don’t love me,
You never cared for me that’s a fact,
All you ever did was mug me,
I’m always stabbed in the back,
I yearned for your compassion,
Then I learned your distraction,
Will lead to self destruction,
Steal my soul leave me with nothing,
To the point I can’t even function adequately,
Everyday you’d battle with me,
Hoping I don’t get your strategy,
I recognize your skill the devil’s real,
But I’m the fighting type,
What you conceal I can reveal,
Now through GOD’s guiding light,
No longer in the dark,
I now see with perfect clarity,
Believe deep in my heart,
Being sober is worth it guaranteed,
I’m shooting for all my goals now with laser precision,
It’s been tunnel vision towards my mission,
Since I made the decision,
To stay as far away from you as possible I must soldier on,
With an arsenal so awesome,
It’s impossible for you to overcome,
I know it’s hard breakups always are,
Time to say goodbye,
Hope u rot I hate you’ll always have a spot in my heart until I die
Bottle Talking to Me — Vol. 2
I will always have that spot I am really starting to feel it is fake
I am not a rental in your mental
I will always own that real estate
I laugh at you talking about how you’ve never been better
I was there for you whenever
So why the personal vendetta?
When you are paranoid
If there is a void
In your life I would fill it for you
Lose a job, you are unemployed
Feeling annoyed yet, I still adore you!
Everything you tell your sober friends now is weighing on me
Too scared to say it to me?
Man, stop playing with me!
Need I remind you of all the times you were weak
I made you strong within
Overcame impossible obstacles
Do not ever call me wrong again
Remember the last
Days before your granny passed
Then father too
Who got you through?
Numbed the pain so it would not bother you
Deep down I know you miss it when we used to kick it
Sometimes even had a three way
Whenever Mary Jane would come and visit
You are powerless against me
Know it sucks to believe
If you tempt me
I will pull out these tricks I have up my sleeve
Talking to the Bottle — Vol. 2
Never again will you defeat me,
I completely surrender,
To Christ for the rest of my life,
I will deeply remember,
How lazy you made me,
It’s crazy but lately,
My energy is at an all time high,
I’ve rejuvenated greatly,
Accomplishing some of the things I’ve always tried to do,
You’re the opposite,
Of what a prophet is,
Don’t know who lied to you,
My future has endless possibilities.
You will not limit me,
NO!!!
I’m 150 days clean to the day,
With infinity to go,
It’s interesting,
The affinity,
For me you claim to have,
When you’re my biggest enemy,
Who steals my energy,
I must maintain my path,
You’ve been taking lives since your invention,
So I say now with the strongest conviction,
You have my undivided attention,
Once I realized I’m powerless against you,
I became powerful,
The serenity is so sweet,
I didn’t mean to sour you,
Tell Mary whenever you speak again I love her,
I know she misses this,
She’ll always be my first,
I hope it hurts to learn you were my mistress
Bottle Talking to Me — Vol. 3
How can you love her and not love me?
She just slows you down and I make you bubbly
Yet you always want to judge me
You know you can not stand a chance
It is making you so uneasy you have ants in your pants
Why do not you just grab my hand and dance
I understand your plans
Almost six months, I know you are anxious for the day to come
I practice patience and we both know what makes your celebrations fun
I thought you had better sense
Than to not show reverence
You will hear ghosts from what you fear most if you continue this severance
I will kick you even stomp you
I will stalk you even haunt you
I will pop up so impromptu
When you are most vulnerable then I got you
There is no way you can stop me
Soon as you get cocky, I will give you lock knees
Your quest for salvation is unseemly
It will just add to the satisfaction your relapse will bring me
You are heading towards the wrong direction
You say you no longer fear your own reflection
But if you take a clearer view in the mirror you
Will see me in the background waiting for resurrection
Keep running from your past
Your fight will never last
That is the biggest fallacy
Known in this galaxy
Talking to the Bottle — Vol. 3
I clearly see persistence is your key I know it all too well
Soon as I think I am flying high you are sure to make me fall to hell
The genesis of my addiction is you wanted my innocence
Later become a nemesis providing little to no benefits
A best friend should be the one to uplift me
But when you are mostly full are the times that I feel the most empty
After I polish you off I am filled with remorse, shame and guilt
Not able to acknowledge the cost of the thrill and all the pain I feel
No longer am I trying to rationalize an explanation
Of why I deal with the daily humiliation
I pray you grow impatient
I know you hate being complacent
There is no excuse for your mental, physical and emotional abuse
We are past the point of reconciliation
I can not trust your clever lies
It is a must I sever ties
For a better life I can not see it if I never try
The severity is high I must achieve prosperity
My dreams are right in front of me I am quite aware
That you are my worst nightmare!
Bottle Talking to Me — Vol. 4
I am beyond ecstatic
Back in your arms just like magic
Told me to rot in hell and was so emphatic
Now once again your life is problematic
God has placed us together, yet you broadcast we are estranged
Your love turned to disdain but you earned this pain
We used to be hand in hand everyday with no worries
During the heat of the summer or when it snowed the biggest flurries
Out of nowhere you want to act like you are mad, stop
You are my mascot, and I am still good until the last drop
I know it was only 40 proof
But it was your moment of truth
That was your biggest opportunity to show me your true strength
To prove you were poised to avoid me and would go to any length
You put up a valiant effort to leave me nice try
Believe me you might cry
When I tell you I always knew you were the right guy
For me once you grabbed me and I did likewise
It was love at first sight, the first night it hurt like
Being stabbed in the heart
The day you chose to depart
Now you are back where I expected you to be
Right next to me
I told you I guarantee your life without me would suck
I hear you plan on leaving me again, well I wish you good luck
This conversation became the sound.
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